Monday, June 13, 2011

Eleven Months to Mother's Day

Note: Not my lawn.
The run-up to Father's Day is nearly over. My latest column is all about how the dads of the world can enjoy their day ... and then begin planning for Mother's Day. Unless my proposal is accepted by the holiday authorities, whoever that may be.

Here's a link to the original column on the newspaper's website or you can just keep reading below.

Thanks for visiting and thanks for reading.

Father’s Day is still nearly a week out, but I’m sure I can say Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there anyway. Dads, your day will assuredly be filled with family appreciation, thoughtful gifts and uninterrupted time to do guy stuff.

Families show their Father’s Day appreciation for dad in any number of ways. Could be a favorite breakfast or fresh, dark coffee in a new mug. Maybe a hand-painted, poster-sized card with “We Love Dad!” decorating the living room.

Gifts are always thoughtful, and I’m convinced the legend of the gaudy tie for Father’s Day is a myth. I’ve never received a tie for Father’s Day. Never. We receive thoughtful gifts, each dependent upon the talents, joys, and hobbies of the individual dad. Fathers find tools or outdoor equipment or books or items with small engines that produce big noise, exhaust, and toothy grins.

Our families give us time to do guy stuff. If you feel the lawn needs mowing, slowly, you got it. If the lawn would benefit from your bare feet admiring its freshly cut blades up close, no problem.

This Father’s Day the Brewers are playing in Fenway Park. Fenway! Even if the family doesn’t understand the significance of Fenway Park, they’ll grant you three hours to bask in baseball in the shadow of the Green Monstah.

These things I know without doubt, and they hold true for only one reason: Moms are in charge.

If fathers were in charge of Father’s Day, it would probably look a lot like, well, Mother’s Day.

Fathers forget. Mother’s Day sneaks up on us every year just like anniversaries, Christmas, and kids in cotton socks. Yes, these things happen with startling regularity, but dang it all if ain’t the second Saturday in May and the best idea I’ve got is a new coffee pot.

It’s embarrassing.

That’s why I’m proposing a holiday exchange. A Sunday swap. A Mother’s Day / Father’s Day flip-flop.

This way dads would get their day in May and with it a one month countdown to Mother’s Day. You like your day in the yard, Dad? You like that breakfast omelet with cheese, ham, sausage, and bacon with Tabasco sauce on the side? Let it be a reminder: You got one month to Mother’s Day.

I understand, dads, that this proposal comes with added pressure, and I know there’s potential for many of us to crumble under its weight. But truly there’s nothing like a great Father’s Day to remind us of the one thing that makes Father’s Day so spectacular. Mothers.

I’m not sure who to petition - Hallmark maybe? - but right now it’s important to get the word out and let the momentum build. Let Father’s Day fall in May, and let it begin the 30-day countdown to Mother’s Day.

The switch not only provides fathers sufficient notification, but also contains the potential for perfect symmetry. Consider, if any dad forgets Mother’s Day now, Father’s Day will have a May Day just before -- and a “Mayday!” shortly after.

So let’s make it happen, dads! Until then, consider this your eleven-month warning.


  1. Hmm, almost makes me want to go out and buy you a tie.....
    Great article!

  2. Thanks for the compliment on the article, but ... but ... a tie?

    Ugh. [shudder]

    Really? A tie?


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